


A sweet sweet haul pt.1

by Zendric



Series: The sweet haul. [1]
Category: El Goonish Shive
Genre: Candy, Transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 08:13:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20542931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zendric/pseuds/Zendric
Summary: First short part of a story set in the EGS-verse. Not much too it yet.





	A sweet sweet haul pt.1

“Okay so where are you then? What! Oh come on you bastard. You know what, fuck you. I don’t need to take this, I know your reputation. Screw you Tom.” She said angrily, ending the call and looking around to see if she could throw her phone at something, in the end, deciding not to, and instead put it away in her pocket.  
“Damn him, and damn me I guess… ugh… now I want a smoke too, can’t though, really really can’t.” Liz looked around her and started walking at an aggressive pace to see if she could find something, anything to distract her.  
“Why are there so many weird shops around here? It’s like this town thrives on some sort of bizarro culture.” She muttered to herself, still stomping down the street before coming to a dead stop as she rounded the corner.  
“Alright, who the hell thought a bright pink candy shop right here was a good idea?” She just stated out loud.  
“I mean, it’s right in between a greasy old pizza place, a clear dive bar and on top of all of them are flipping apartments… who does this shit!” Liz said to absolutely no one, mainly since there wasn’t anyone around. Her tone was full of astonished surprise and that brand of angry tiredness cynical people can have.  
Almost compulsively, she checked her phone, hoping for a distraction there. Nothing.She sighed deeply. Liz thought to herself that with nothing better to do she might as well investigate this 'moronic' shop. At least she'd get a packet of gum, or something, to take the edge off of the stupid urge that her anger caused. 

As she pushed the door open, it swung across a series of chimes that caused the shop attendant to look up from whatever they were doing and Liz bit back a sigh and only slightly rolled her eyes.  
“Welcome, if there…” The attendant begun before Liz interrupted.  
“Okay pal, one, do I really look like a sales pitch is gonna work on me? Two, don’t get too cheery, I could break your hopes of a good day like a dry twig. So just let me look around, and when I show up with something I wanna buy, you’ll take my money and everything will be great, okay?” She said, her eyes narrowed and uncaring.  
Meekly, the shop attendant cowered down behind the counter. Liz let out a slight sigh of relief and began browsing. Sugary nuggets of taste lay around her in absolute abundance the likes of which she had never seen before.  
A small, mostly forgotten part of her sprung into action, screaming at the rest of her cynical attitude to move aside as Liz barely kept her sudden surprising excitement under control and began to fill bags with candies in all shapes, sizes and colours. There were chocolate drops covered in sprinkles, there were gum drops, there were marshmallows shaped like the most wondrous silly things, there were caramel, there were nuts (kept under lids), there were astonishing amounts of sweet sweet candy and Liz simply couldn’t stop herself. For a little while at least, part of her didn’t _want_ to stop either. Eventually she felt satisfied with the heft of her bags and proceeded to the counter with them.

She felt a nagging voice in the back of her mind reminding her that this amount of sweets would be really expensive, which triggered an internal debate, kinda like having your conscience on your shoulders. On one side she had miss moneybags without a care in the world, on the other a classic cartoon bookie.  
“Ya ain’t got that amount of dough to float around on kid. Gotta drop some of those expenses, see. Can’t dip into the red or it'll come back to bite out what you owe it, see.” The bookie seemed to say.  
“Bah. Who cares, you got this. It’s not like it’s your life savings on the line, gotta live it up yo!” Miss Moneybags said while throwing imaginary little dollar bills around itself.The bookie cranked the handle on its adding machine and the spool grew longer.“At that rate you’ll be flat broke in a week, see. Gotta keep it reigned in kid. Ain’t nobody gonna be happy if ya burst your piggy for this.” It said.  
“Oh shove off you killjoy. YOLO you know. Besides, it’s not like we’re getting in with the mob or something. It’s not even cigarettes, what could go wrong?” The wasteful party side said. Liz shook her head, clearing away the imagined characters. She didn’t care, her planned date had already gone to hell, she craved nicotine which she couldn’t get. She needed something to get her back into what could at least be called a decent mood. She placed the bags on the counter, making the attendant almost jump, they seemed terrified of her, which Liz noted almost smugly.  
“This, a packet of those chocolate cigarettes… some pocky too, and peppermint gum. PEPPERmint, got that?” She said before the attendant had even begun to say “Will that be all." They nodded, got the items and added it all together.Liz swore slightly under her breath as she saw the price tag run away. But she bit the bullet and paid up.Once outside the shop with a piece of gum in her mouth, she quickly came to the conclusion that she would never speak of this to anyone. She had no idea that what was lying in store for her in those bags would double her efforts to never speak of that shop, or that she’d never live it down.  
  
  
With so much candy Liz decided to head home directly, she was still a bit sour over being stood up like that, but she knew that Tom was kind of an ass. On the way she noticed a few people looking at her very well filled candy bags.  
“Hey baby, pour some sugar on me.” Some random guy said with a joking smirk, as she passed by. A death stare in response was all it took to shut him up. Luckily no one else seemed to care beyond simple curiosity. With an unusual giddiness, Liz almost skipped down the street the last bit of the way home, before she could finally close the door to her room and let out a slight sigh.

“Ah to hell with… something, I don’t even feel the slightest bit guilty.” She said to herself before opening one of the bags and dumping it into a large bowl she had taken from the kitchen.  
Colourful sweets spilled out, forming a pile at the top of the bowl which could only barely hold all of them. Liz took out the gum in her mouth and carefully lobbed it into her trashcan before taking one of the candies and inspecting it.  
It was a seemingly simple yellow hard candy, shaped like a lightning bolt.  
She casually slipped it into her mouth while trying to reach the power button for her games console with her foot.  
“Hm, lemon.” She noted at the taste, it felt strangely familiar yet completely alien to her at once, but not in an unsettling manner.  
“Probably chock-full of crazy chemicals.” Liz muttered.She managed to hit the power button with her toe which shot a strange jolt of lightning from her toe into the console.  
“Wah!” She exclaimed, recoiling instinctively and leaving trails of sparks along the carpet where her feet dragged.She stared in bewilderment as the tiny crackles skittered out, then she looked up to see her reflection in the mirror. Her green hair was standing on end in jagged shapes with lightning arcs jumping between each spike.  
“Oh my god…” She said slowly, she got up on her feet and stood there, entranced by her own reflection.  
“How the… stupid question… but… is there a reason.” She said aloud. Then she wondered what she could do, there had to be something to this. She held her hands in front of her and slowly brought them closer to each other, when her fingertips were inches apart lightning arced between them and crackled, then as suddenly as it had begun, it stopped. Her hair fell down in her face and the arcs disappeared.  
“What… but… wait… if… Nooooooo. Surely not” Liz said, realising that just before she had started behaving like a human Tesla coil, she had eaten a candy shaped like a lightning bolt. Liz narrowed her eyes at the bowl of candy.  
“You rat bastard. Ashley would kill me to get to you if she ever found out about this.” She muttered to the bowl, obviously it didn’t respond.  
  
Liz sat looking at the bowl, not sure whether she should risk another taste in case it had some other strange effect on her. Her mind ran through what was going on, trying to make sense of it.“Just my bloody luck… city’s going nuts. What the heck am I supposed to do with this now… are they even safe?” She said to herself, triggering another debate between the consciences on the shoulders.  
This time she had a version of herself who just wanted to say “sod it all, I’m taking a nap” that, for some inexplicable reason, had cat ears in her imagination (she blamed Ashley), on the other she had a small jumpy child version of herself.  
“Why bother.” The tired side said.  
“Because AWESOME!” Came the response of the excited side.  
“Sure. Nothing says awesome like unknown transformations from eating strange things.” The tired one said.  
“You got lightning powers from the lightning candy, what if there’s like… a dragon one in there. How awesome wouldn’t that be? Or like… something. IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES!” The excited side said before it began jumping over to the other shoulder and shaking the tired counterpart.  
“Yeah, the possibilities of being turned into a newt?” It responded cynically before detaching itself from the excited side.  
“You’d get better.” The excited side said kicking an imaginary pebble. Liz sighed and sank her face into her hands.  
“What the hell am I doing.” She thought to herself before shaking her head and clearing away the debating parts of her personality.  
  
“Ahhhhhh sod it.” She exclaimed and dragged the bowl closer. Liz stared at the contents for a solid minute before settling on a blue piece shaped like a snake.  
“Alright… a blue gummy snake.” She said before stopping and getting a pen and paper.  
On the paper she started two columns, the first column reading ‘Cause’ and the other ‘Effect’. She also noted down the lightning candy she had already eaten before looking at the length of candy in her hand.It had a clear taste of artificial blueberries, and as she chewed it she kept looking at her hand which, just as she expected, began growing blue scales. When she swallowed the candy all her skin had been replaced with these scales, each reflectively shining a vibrant blue.  
To her own surprise, Liz noted that her hair was still normal and let out a slight sigh of relief as that could have been quite a problem otherwise.  
She took the pen and wrote down the new cause and effect in her notes.

A few minutes later, the novelty of scales had worn off and Liz realised that if she didn’t figure out a way to get back to ‘normal’ she’d have a lot of uncomfortable explaining to do. She looked back to the bowl and on a whim, grabbed a perfectly normal marshmallow, stuffed it in her mouth before she closed her eyes and chewed.  
Liz let out a small sigh of relief when she opened her eyes again and saw her normal self in the mirror.  
“Okay… I’m starting to see the appeal that Ashley keeps talking about.” She smirked to herself before sitting down on her bed, fully satisfied with her day after all.

**Author's Note:**

> This is just for fun, it will get longer when I get around to that.


End file.
